Come Softly, Now

Come here,
softly now,
because your heart
and every tender feeling
of your soul
is breaking,
and one careless step
will shatter you.

I know.
I’ve been there too.

I’ve caught my lover’s
personal whore
legs spread on the screen–
the page,
the phone,
hidden from me
and stealer
of all his need
for me.

I’ve lain on my bed
trying to understand
my own heartbreak
that he just
didn’t
want me
anymore.
Just didn’t.
Because he’d given it
to a picture.

I’ve known that sickly fall
of all my insides
when I find
one who swore his life to me
had lied,
just to keep her
and all the other
bare breasted, panting
women
in his hands.

So, come softly,
carefully,
because you’re bleeding
what must be
the last drops
in your body.

Come to me, softly,
and listen
to what no one
told me.

You’re not a nymphophiliac
just because you have
sexual needs
he can’t meet.
You’re normal. Really.
Breathe.
It isn’t you.

You’re not ugly
and he’s not aiming
to fulfill the needs
you didn’t meet.
He sold his soul
to a devil
just like any other
drug addict.
It isn’t you.

You’re not bad
for having needs,
nor are you paranoid
or oversensitive
because you’re so hurt
it can hardly be called
hurt anymore,
because mere pain
couldn’t take your breath
like this.

Oh, tender one,
loving one,
come softly here.

I’m so sorry.

I’m sorry our world
accepts this as normal,
and expects us
not to be hurt
by our men having virtual sex
whenever they find a moment
alone
with their phone or computer.

I’m sorry you’re breaking.

I’m sorry that the man
you put such careful
thought and feeling
to trust
has lost his natural affection,
and his natural attraction
to you
and all your womanly charms
to women he will never meet,
but who he dreams about
every night.

I’m sorry
that you can’t even
justify
why you’re tearing at your skin,
dying to be let out
everytime the thought of
making love
crosses your mind.

I’m sorry
that you can’t understand.

I’m sorry
that it feels like
you can’t escape
because what man isn’t involved
with pornography?

I’m so sorry…
that I can’t do anything
but write this
so you know
you aren’t alone.

Softly, now, softly
come here,

Because I’m breaking too.

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