Cats and Colds

Sometimes I like to pretend
my cat has feelings for me.
Maybe it’s because
my cranium spouts mucous
like the blowhole of a whale,
and that, for some reason
makes me yearn for
feline affection.
But colds aren’t so bad.
At least it isn’t
getting close and personal
to the way God designed
your innards
to break down something
delicious
into acid and molecules
and phlegm.
Maybe if he just
sat next to me
for only a minute longer–
the cat, not God,
you idiot.
But cats never cared
for sinuses
anyways.

And I guess neither do you.

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