Undrifting Friend

Friend,
what have we come to?
I think about sending you
a gift
without knowing if it’s even
worth it.
You speak of friendship,
but how is it
that I can still mourn
when no fissure has broken us
apart?
Just breathing
and sex.

I miss you
but wonder how on earth
you could still find
affection for one
such as I,
for I harrow up every word
I said without a thought
–even trying to be funny–
as a reason for this stillness
and quiet
not broken by your ‘hello’
or the updating
of a friend’s trivia
to answer as proof
of intimacy.

Is it such because
we have drifted
despite our sacrifices and gifts
to one another
to fight against it?
Is it land?
Is it time?
Is it unmet love
reminding you and I
how alone you are
and how happy I am?

Is it because I praise God
and you fight against
His existence–
because I know you hate
that you are scavenging
for satisfaction
in the beds of other ‘friends’
with benefits,
always hoping for love
to come your way,
and finding none.

Reminding me
reminding me
how far…

What do you hope for
when you come to see me?
What do you think
when I say to you
‘Sin’?

Oh friend,
are we even friends
anymore?

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